Lake Pemaquid
The smell of pine,
Like a Fall afternoon,
At the campsite,
Set up our tent,
Then eat lunch.
Later that day,
My father and I,
Take a boat,
To the deep, blue lake,
To fish.
As we give up,
Something happens,
Something exciting,
Something great,
I get a bite.
He put up a fight,
He wouldn't give up,
But eventually,
I got him!
I stay at the lake,
For three weeks,
Always savoring,
Each day.
I'm coming back,
To the lake,
This summer,
I can't wait!
Persuade Zeus
17 years ago
17 comments:
This is very detailed I like how you say, To the deep, blue lake,
To fish. To the deep blue lake to fish is very detailed
I think your poem was very well written and I really like it
chandler
This is very detailed i like how you say. To the deep, blue lake,
To fish. It is very detailed!
Brittanie
I thought it was nice. And where is Lake Pemaquid?
Dear kyle
I like pine trees so it sounds like a good place to go. I like how you told us about how you and your dad want fishing. I really like how you talk about leaving but then getting a bite. And you don't give up the fight with the fish!
Great poem
From,
Trenton
Your simile was really good!!
Sophie
I liked how you repeated in the third paragraph. The whole thing was very poetic, it flowed nicely.
-Sarah
Kyle I thought you did a very good job!!I can feel the excitement when you said "As we give up,something happens,something exciting,something great,I get a bite".That sounds like something to look forward to every summer!
Jema
I can picture the lake. nice simile
Kevin
dear kyle I like your first stanza it is very descriptive you tell the reader what it smelt like and what it felt like to you. this was an awesome
poem. I have one question what kind of fish was it??
kyle I love how you use similes in almost every paragraph. anthony salce
Dear Kyle I like that simile you used and how you made it exciting like when you said something happens something exciting that left me hanging till the next line.
Sincerly,Lillian.
your poem is very good I like the fourth paragraph. It has very good detail
milos
Kyle........
Your poem was so descriptive! I felt like I was there smelling the pine and looking at the blue lake. Great job!!!
very good poem. I liked that you kept on track it was like you had a feel for your writing.
Taylor
Your poem was F I L L E D with details! I went to a camp on Lake Pemaquid.. It was called Duck Puddle campground.. did you go there?
-Super Shallon :D
Dear Kyle,
Great job on this poem. You used so much descriptive writing it felt like I was there.That fish musthave been really big. The way you repeated "Something" made it very exciting and suspenseful. You did a very greay job on this poem.
Sincerely,
Samantha
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